Want Control? Grace Required.

Finding gratitude and giving grace when things are out of our control

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I don’t know if this happens to you, but the pin pad at my grocery store always asks me if the amount that I have to pay for food is ‘ok’? And every single time in my head (and occasionally out loud) I yell, “No, it’s not okay! You are charging me too much!” Have you seen how much tissues and milk costs? The news reports that food prices increased 3.5% in 2021, but it feels closer to 50% to me.

It seems like a lot of things are out of my control, food prices being just one of many. I’m reading about our collective levels of stress as we enter another year navigating the pandemic, the increased cost of living, our ongoing culture wars, etc. More and more we hear stories of people who are angry and aggressive - everywhere and all the time. It can become overwhelming if we aren’t anchored by faith, family, or a sense of purpose. I feel very fortunate to have all three as a consistent force in my life.

The word that keeps going through my mind is ‘Grace’. I want others to give me grace when I mess up, and that compels me to offer grace to others. That is one thing that is in my control. Imagine if we all gave out a little more grace every day? Instead of being quick to judge or angry over people and circumstances not in our control, we start with the assumption that most are doing the best they can in the moment. An ounce of extended grace has power. It disarms people. It shifts the heart. And it makes room for more possibility.

When I google the word grace, I find this description: “Acting with grace is largely about focusing on what you want to happen next, rather than focusing on what has happened to you. It's about taking ownership of yourself, your emotions, and your response to a situation.” I’ve always been taught that mercy is not receiving a negative response that you earned, and grace is unmerited favor – receiving something good despite not having earned it.

My goal this month is to offer grace in situations that feel out of my control. When someone beeps their horn and cuts me off, makes a snide comment online, or is inpatient, I will try to pause before reacting and offer grace. When someone unexpectedly comes at me with anger or mistrust (my husband calls them ‘snipers’), I will remember that my goal is to offer grace. And if someone makes a mistake, rather than judge I will offer grace. And at the end of the day, I will be thankful for all the grace that has been afforded to me for all my mistakes, my impatience, my sarcastic comments, and my ungratefulness.

Tomorrow at the grocery store I will push the ‘ok’ button on the pin pad without mumbling under my breath and be grateful for the food and all the people who helped provide it. I will manage my own emotions and give grace to others, so the world feels slightly more under control.

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